(COLORADO SPRINGS) — Courtenay Whitelaw still feels the heartbreak in the death of her 17-year-old daughter Riley Whitelaw. While justice has been served, there is no bringing back the positive young girl who lost her life at such a young age.

“I think most people would expect me to have some sort of happiness,” Courtenay Whitelaw said. “But for me it’s hard to be happy because I still don’t have my kid and while the trial is behind us and we can kind of move forward, I don’t feel like I have a bit of relief really, just because I’m missing my kid.”

For nearly two weeks at the El Paso County Courthouse, a filled courtroom was presented with evidence that 29-year-old Joshua Johnson murdered Riley. On Oct. 4, the jury found Johnson guilty of first-degree murder.

“I look at him as a monster, like what he did was a really evil act,” Courtenay said. “I guess maybe for me, it’s taking some power away and also to not allow him to, you know, overshadow Riley in this. Because the story is about Riley. It’s not about him and he doesn’t deserve any recognition.”

Throughout the trial, Courtenay held on to a stuffed animal. During her interview with FOX21, she shared the greater significance and comfort in this cherished keepsake.

“So that’s Riley’s stuffed animal that she’s had since she was three and her name is Jelly,” Courtenay said. “I have brought it to every hearing, every day of trial to what would have been her high school graduation and like all the big events, I bring it with me. It’s just comfort and to carry a piece of her with me.”

Courtenay Whitelaw shared the comfort and connection she feels to Riley thanks to this stuffed animal.

Courtenay Whitelaw shared with FOX21 her gratitude for the jury finding Johnson guilty which you can watch below.

Following the guilty verdict, Riley’s family and friends were able to impart on the the courtroom the immense impact she had on so many. While reading these stories, a memorial piece was created in a flower vase.

“Each of us had a bag of purple rocks that we put in on top of the black rocks,” Courtenay said. “We put the evilness sort of at the bottom and then countered it with the purple rocks, with each impact statement.”

It was “Cousin Jeremy” who wanted to create this piece of art and added the 42 black marbles to the bottom to embody the pain that Riley went through. But goodness fills the rest of the vase with purple stones and the very top being filled with sunflowers.

“So, I said, ‘What about the sunflowers?’ Because Riley’s like a ray of sunshine for most of us and something bright and cheery,” said Courtenay.

A memorial floral art piece was made when impact statements were read in court about Riley Whitelaw.

Alyssa Elgersma, a family friend of Courtenay and Riley, helped care for Riley for nine years. When she spoke in court, she addressed the grief in loosing someone you love so much.

“Grief is what happens when one’s heart explodes and suffocates at the same time,” said Elgersma.

Courtenay reflected on the impact statements, and while they do not bring Riley back, they undeniably showed the profound impact she had on all who crossed paths with her.

“I mean, it’s comforting, but it’s also heartbreaking because as my dad said, we don’t get that anymore,” Courtenay said. “Like, we’re missing out on all the big milestones that she should be having. So, I take comfort in what people say about her. I just feel like we were robbed of her, and we needed… we need more people like Riley in this world.”

While Riley’s time on earth was brief, it is clear the everlasting connections she made with so many.

“Every once in a while, in this life, you get to pick your family and I’m so grateful that I was able to pick two people to be in mine,” said Elgersma.

Courtenay continues fighting for her daughter’s legacy with both a Law and a Memorial Fund made in Riley’s name.

You can watch Courtenay explain the Riley I Whitelaw Memorial Fund below.

In this heartache, Courtenay is hopeful her daughter’s bright spirit will be remembered instead of the circumstance in which she left this world.

A park bench was recently built in Riley’s neighborhood as a place for many to reflect and be able to spend their time with ‘Smiley Riley.’

Courtenay Whitelaw sits on a bench dedicated to her daughter Riley Whitelaw.

“I knew very early on that she would never want this to take me down and I have chosen to carry on, to honor her and to do the things that I know she would want us all to do and that’s to bring more kindness into the world,” Courtenay said. “That’s why we have the Memorial Fund that we have is to carry her legacy and what we think she would want from all of this.”