DENVER (KDVR) — For those of you who moved to the Denver metro area before or during the pandemic, picking up local linguistical trends may not have been a priority. Nonetheless, the shut-downs have subsided, which means it is time to start socializing with your fellow Denverite.
Understandably, it is unlikely you will be able to complete the full Denverite Rosetta Stone program, so before diving into the beautifully warm months Colorado will soon be putting on your plate, check out this list of helpful verbiage that is certain to make seasoned Coloradans believe you earned “native” status long ago.
Mile High jargon
FIXIE: The neighborhood-traversing bikes, incapable of changing gears or easily summiting climbs of any kind, and a local favorite you’ll likely see being utilized every few blocks.
BLUCIFER: A local DIA-defending statue with a dark history that includes his creator meeting a Frankenstein-like ending.
GRANOLA: This can be used to describe a left-leaning lover of both the outdoors and veganism. This term appears most consistently when Boulder is mentioned in any way.
DONKEYS: A term of endearment in these parts. Refers to fanatics of the local NFL club.
FLANNEL: A uniform, apparently outlined in some elusive text, as the “must-wear upper body garment” for most Colorado-dwelling males. It has been deemed a piece of clothing for occasional wear in most other states, outside of the Great Lake region.
COLORADO COLOGNE: The distinct and skunkish odor that participants of Colorado’s immersive marijuana scene exude, in potent fashion. Consistently worn by a small sect of those deemed to be “granola.”
WOOK: See “Granola,” add dreadlocks and “Colorado Cologne”
POW: Not so much a box to punch in Super Mario Brothers, but rather a reference to freshly fallen accumulation in the high country, primed for a skier’s trodding.
ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS: You should avoid anyone who offers you these without detailing exactly what they are. Regardless, you should try them, for bull testicles are delicious…for what they are.
PEAK BAGGER: A hitman or hitwoman in a way. Defined by their determination to scratch the names of all of Colorado’s 14ers off of their to-do list.
SMELL OF GREELEY: FOX31’s Pinpoint Weather Team is usually the premier human crew getting Coloradans ready for impactful weather, but the number one forecaster of rain in the metroplex, hands down, must go to the cows of Greeley, who consistently send their manure scented forecast southward toward Denver whenever a rainstorm is en route.
WAYS OUT: Apparently, seasoned locals use this term to imply a sense of kidding, or joking, but reported sightings of this phrase have dwindled in recent decades.
TEXAS GORE-TEX: The non-illusive denim-wearing skier of the high country, oftentimes a visitor hailing from the Lone Star State.
YARD SALE: The term most consistently heard near a skier who has, in the recent immediacy, lost both poles and skis in a single questionable maneuver while on the slopes. When witnessing such an instance, you are encouraged to avoid haggling for any items presumed to be “for sale,” and instead, offer assistance, or at the bare minimum, compliment them on their wares.
These are all terms certain to get you wedged comfortably into any Colorado conversation you come across.
It might help you, however, to learn some lingo attached to the geographical locations you now find yourself adjacent to. Here are some terms you may hear or read locally that it may behoove you to memorize.
Helpful local lingo
RiNo: Refers to the River North Art District in northern Denver.
CAP HILL: Capitol Hill area in downtown Denver.
MOUSE TRAP: The always pleasant-to-navigate intersection between Interstate 25 and Interstate 70.
THE FAX: In the era of Kinkos, the use of this term was sometimes unhelpful, but following the demise of fax machines, this term is helpful when referring to Colfax Avenue while at the same time, wanting to save time.
LoDo: Lower downtown
LoHi: Lower highlands
FoCo: Fort Collins
SoBro: South Broadway area
THE FRONT RANGE: Those towns and cities sitting along the eastern foothills of the Rocky Mountain range.
THE TUNNEL: Refers to the gateway to the high country along I-70, officially named the Eisenhower-Johnson Tunnels.
THE RANCH: Highlands Ranch.
BRECK: The coiner of this term broke the name of Breckenridge in half, for your convenience.
A-TOWN: Refers to the city of Aurora.
THE SPRINGS: A reference to Colorado Springs, home of Colorado’s newest Whataburger.
BV: The shortest possible way to refer to Buena Vista.
WADS: A slightly unnerving nickname of Wadsworth Boulevard.
THE GREEN MILE: A stretch of cannabis dispensaries along SoBro, between Yale Avenue and Louisiana Avenue.
This list may not be the most complete regional linguistics course, but if you keep these in your utility belt of terms, you have already started your process of assimilation into the Coloradan community so many wish to join.
